As we approach the festive season…

Good Morning my love,

First week of November, how are you? Actually can’t believe we are 8 weeks out from 2021, 2020 has been ALOT.

As we approach the festive season, I think it’s important to check in, especially after all that has been the last few months of this year. As a collective, we’ve experienced so much uncertainty and fear, with the majority of us forced to adapt into circumstances out of our control. I know for me personally, it’s pushed me very quickly and uncomfortably to assess my internal processes, belief systems and level of awareness of my reactions. A deep dive into personal responsibility, sovereignty. 

I wonder how this has impacted you, specifically. How have you nurtured yourself this year? What tools have you pulled upon in times of uncertainty and fear of what comes next? Perhaps that wasn’t something you were equipped to navigate and you’ve felt a little like you’ve been treading water for a while now and your legs aren’t sure they can keep going anymore. Does any of this resonate with you?

For a lot of us, an approach to the festive season is less than festive. It marks an increased workload and stress of reaching organisational goals before the year is out. It marks a time of increased financial stress as we begin increasing our financial investment into gifts and hosting our loved ones. It marks a time where typically our personal time becomes less and those moments for ourselves are replaced with social engagements on social engagements and our personal space/safe place is suddenly flooded with others. As much as we love our friends and family, it can quickly become overwhelming and unbearable, and the festive in festive season is no longer. 

I wonder after reading that how you feel? Do you think back and notice familiarity with those experiences? Have you ever taken time to consider these things, with you as the priority? 

My focus in the coming weeks is creating experiences for myself that aren’t compromising in, or dismissive of my core values and boundaries, with my sovereignty at the fore. There are two ways I’m approaching this:

  1. Actively reframing my mindset 
  2. Implementing a daily non negotiable date with myself

Let’s start with number 2. We all know I’m a big fan of morning routines (you can see my post about it here). I like to think of this step as an extension of that. Much like how you schedule time to spend with your friends or your loved ones, it’s important we allow ourselves the same luxury. You may have heard this before, but you can’t give from an empty cup. If you think of yourself in this context, what we want to aim for is to be overflowing. Our cup is so full that it’s spilling over and we give to those around us from there. If your cup isn’t overflowing, you’re taking from your personal store, until you eventually drain it and there’s nothing left for anyone else, let alone yourself. Cue burnout and leaky boundaries. 

Scheduling in this time for yourself daily, essentially carving out a pocket (or pockets!) of time every day as a priority, to check in with that cup and make sure you’re only giving from the overflow. Be selfish, let it be the one thing for the day that is completely about you and looks however you want it to look. 5 minutes, or 1 hour. Stillness or movement. Writing or creativity. Silence or the loudest music you could have to drown out your singing voice while you belt it out. Whatever it is and looks like, let it be about you and what makes you feel joy and fed on a soul level. Be unapologetic. 

Now, for number one. Tonight on Instagram, I’ll be sharing practical examples of how I reframe my mindset through statements, centring compassion in in the way I talk to myself and relate to my experiences. For example:

Instead of: Everyone is going to judge me 

Try: I believe in myself and back my decisions fully

Or

Instead of: I’m having a really terrible week, nothing is going my way

Try: It’s safe for me to feel my emotions fully

 

Getting into the habit now of extending kindness and compassion towards myself, so that if I waver in step 2, I am equipped to navigate out of it in any circumstance. See how the two steps complement each other without being directly linked? We’re setting ourselves up for a win as a default, even if we perceive it as a bump in the road. 

Practical tools like these, are something that I help my clients implement into their lives daily. Identifying and assessing pain points, and exploring ways that we can implement personalised actionable steps to alleviate these is a key part of the coaching experience. Just as we are uniquely individual, so are the health concerns we have, and the pain points we experience. This is why I have multiple ways in which you can work with me. If you have been considering an investment in your health, let this be the sign you’ve been waiting for. You deserve it. 

Big love,

Ready to work with me? You can book your complimentary, one hour  Health History Session (no strings attached) here

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UNEMPLOYED… I QUIT MY $1K A WEEK JOB!

Hello lovely, I hope this finds you well.

I have neglected you, I’ll admit it. It’s been well over a year since I dropped into this space with the tale of a new relationship, full to the brim with love and learnings. How are you? I’m sure things have shifted for you in that period as well, 2020 has been something else.

If you’ve been following along on Instagram, you’ll know that recently I graduated from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition as an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach and relaunched my website (so fun but madly time consuming!), integrating my new knowledge and skills with my existing bringing about new packages and ways to work with me. More on that later…

The real reason I’m popping in today, is to share with you something I’ve kept under wraps for the last 4 weeks, before I share it with everyone online. 

I QUIT MY JOB! 

Yep, you read that right, 4 weeks ago I resigned on my 6 year service anniversary from my $1000 a week, stable, keep for life kinda job, with no next job to go to. W I L D, I know. 

Let me explain…

If you’re reading this and didn’t realise that coaching wasn’t my full time job, let me catch you up to speed. Since I graduated school in 2011, I’ve worked in administration. Straight from completion of my traineeship, I went into full time work and never looked back. I FULLY adopted the mentality that you had to be on the grind, jobs were not meant to be enjoyed and that money far outweighed job satisfaction or dare I even say passion. It wasn’t until 2016 that I started realising there were problems with my ‘adopted’ mindset. 

In this period, I was at my heaviest physically (not that that is a predetermining factor to ANYTHING), however it came with an array of health concerns, both physically and mentally. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt healthy, or where I would even begin to make a change. I started researching and made the decision to change the way I was eating and start moving my body. That one small change, even though it was a major mental shift I would come to realise, paved the way for me to be here, writing this. 

From there, I stumbled (yes, literally stumbled) across an Instagram post explaining what a Life Coach was and recommending an academy to study with. I’d never even heard of a Life Coach before, but it stayed with me and wasn’t long before I enrolled and started studying. Over the course of the next 12 months, I lost 10 kilograms, finished studying and started my own business (with paying clients). I will note here, that I had already heard of a Health Coach and IIN, but it didn’t feel right at the time so I kept on looking, cue BYCA!

Fast forward a couple of years and I’d kept steadily getting clients, but no where near enough to sustain an income full time in my business. I knew that my full time job had a lot to do with that, but at the time I couldn’t see a way to transition across because of the weight I’d placed in the money I was earning. Then BAM, I was single and my full time job became my stability, coaching business on the back burner and completely unable to mentally comprehend a life without my stable, secure, full time job. 

It wasn’t until 8 months into my new relationship, a whole 18 months later,  that I started exploring the idea of coaching and further study again. The niggle in the back of my mind that admin just wasn’t for me had never gone away, and the environment I worked in was only getting worse. I trusted my gut, IIN had a sale and I enrolled, which brings me to July 2020 of this year.  

Things in that job, upon reflection, never got any better, and slowly but surely tightened the grip on my mental health, day by day winding me up like a pressure cooker. It’s funny now that I look back, how much my mind immediately jumped in to protect me. So much suppressed and ignored just to function for what I perceived to be essential in my life. It was almost impossible for me to show up within my coaching business because of how taxing that day job was, and my passion slowly but surely simmered out, while my mental health suffered dramatically. Issue after issue was thrown at me in that job, day after day I would come home crying, spend nights awake riddled with stress and anxiety and guaranteed I would get up every day and place myself back into that toxic environment, knowing it would get worse and waiting for the next bomb to drop, because I NEEDED that money. 

I lived in deep denial about the toll it was taking and ignored all of the beautiful guidance I was given steering me away from it because I had intertwined my identity with it. Let that sink in. I intertwined my identity, my happiness and my worth as a person with a job because of the amount of money I got in my bank every week and the ‘perks’  that came with it. Stability, security, job for life, setting myself up for the future, maternity leave, long service, RDO and the list goes on. I had chosen to continue placing myself in that environment for 6 years justifying the pros, until one night after one of the worst days I’d ever had in that job, I woke myself up from my sleep hysterically crying. I had been so emotionally impacted that day, my integrity and worth grinded down so badly that after crying myself to sleep, I woke myself up the same way and physically couldn’t get out of bed the next day. I looked in the mirror and I didn’t recognise myself anymore.

That night will stay with me for life, because it was the first time I truely realised that I just couldn’t do it anymore. My health and happiness had to be worth more, surely. I thought about what I would say to a friend or a client who was experiencing the same thing and there was no scenario on this planet that would have me advise someone to stay. 

It wasn’t long after that, that I impulsively made the decision, with a lot of love and nurturing from my beautiful cousin and boyf, to rip the bandaid off and resign, even though I had nothing to go to next. The experience was fucked, I’m not going to lie. Waves upon waves of rollercoaster emotions, all fear projecting, because I’d never in my life had the courage to trust that the right thing would come if I got out of my own way, and fully opened myself up to receiving, nor had I ever not had a job as an adult. I also had no living proof that a decision like this wouldn’t come back to bite me in the arse and I couldn’t compare my situation to anyone else’s because I knew no one that had experienced the same thing. Funny that. 

I’m sharing this with you today, fully transparent, to hopefully plant a seed in your pretty little head. If you, like so many others out there, jumped into a job because it was the norm, and find yourself struggling daily because it’s just not right, know that you aren’t stuck and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Know that you can take back control of your life, you are worth so much more than you are receiving and that there are ways of making an income where passion, purpose and your happiness are at the forefront. Even if you’ve never seen it done before, or you, like I was, are stuck in a mindset that ‘things like that won’t happen for someone like me’, they can and they will if you want them enough. 

Since I resigned, I can tell you that all of the fears I had around money and success have been extinguished ten fold. More money than I could have expected has come, more opportunities than I knew were available have landed in my lap and all of the reasons why for so long I held onto that job for dear life, have since evaporated, I just had to get out of my own way. 

This brings me to my final offering for you. My entire coaching business and my biggest joy have been built on the back of my passion in life, which is helping you find yours. What I would have given all those years ago to have had the space to explore what my passion was with someone who had already navigated that path and had the ability to hold me in that space while I found my way to it. It would be my absolute honour to be that person for you. If the sound of that sparks a little niggle in your stomach, you can check out my newest offerings (told you I’d come back to it!) here. 

And just for being here, I’m offering you a special discount for the next month, a further 5% off either my 3 or 6 month packages if you decide coaching with me is for you. I trust wholeheartedly in your discernment. 

Deep in gratitude, 

Ready to work with me? You can book your complimentary, one hour  Health History Session (no strings attached) here

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I’ve been keeping a secret..

Beautiful friends, welcome back!

I’ve been sitting deep in reverence the last couple of months because I have a little secret I’ve been keeping close to my heart, I’ve welcomed a new love into my life. It is the most beautiful and reflective process and evokes joy and happiness on a level I’m experiencing for the first time, but it is also challenging, triggering and requires a lot of work, solely because we have chosen to grow a conscious relationship.

If you google conscious relationship, nine out of ten times you find a definition that sits around two people coming together romantically with a sole purpose, that purpose being growth. While I don’t entirely disagree, conscious relationship dives deeper than that for me.

It’s about growth as a priority. Having individual aspirations and a desire to continually expand on a soul level. Conscious relationship requires an independence of you, me and us (you, your partner and your relationship itself) and demands that each seperate entity be fed and nurtured so that the ‘us’ can be deposited into, equally. You aren’t your relationship, you grow your relationship and you do that by depositing into it from your overflow. 

It’s about responsibility. Of your actions, reactions, emotions and the way you show up. There is no playing the victim, or self pity, only ownership and a side of selflessness. The only person who can change your state and your emotions is you, and you do that through taking responsibility, and then communicating clearly to your partner what’s going on for you and what you need to return to feeling seen, heard and balanced. 

It’s about conscious disagreement and knowing that it some days it will feel hard and take work. We are modelled a relationship prototype that is perfect at all times, heavy on the sacrifice with a core focus of ticking the socially acceptable boxes. Hard no. Conscious relationship is having a safe place to run toward the triggers, frustrations and problems that arise because we are committed to the growth and healing that comes from them. Realising that the ability to turn toward the negative emotions quickly creates more emotional intimacy and safety whilst allowing us the opportunity individually to move through our own stuff and really own it. 

It’s about vulnerability and learning how to soften. Be in your feminine energy and let emotion flow through you. Vulnerability does not feel excellent but it is the gateway to your soul for your partner. 

It’s about your partner not being your everything.  Inter-dependency as opposed to co-dependency. If your body immediately tensed, soften my love. You are fiercely capable and as women, independence runs through our veins. There is an extreme weight to be carried when you are another human beings everything. Co-dependent relationships collapse with someone giving up who they are and merging into the other person in order to keep the relationship going, leaving feelings of heaviness, exhaustion and suffocation that do not serve anyone. In an inter-dependent relationship, each individual recognises and values the importance of the emotional connection they share, whilst continually maintaining a connection with themselves, never compromising or diminishing their own value systems. It’s realising that your partner can’t be your everything, nor do you want them to be. Maintain your friendships, keep doing things for you and get nice and cosy with your soul as a priority, your relationship will thank you later.

Lastly, it’s about communication and love, at the core. The grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it and there aren’t self watering pots for this one. 

All my love, 

Ps Interested in some 1 on 1 time with me? Check out my coaching packages

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How do you feel about courage?

This one is sitting hot on my heart lovers, so naturally I’m back at it again a billion years after my last blog.

One of my fav things to do is spend time with my littlest loves. Theres just something about immersing myself in the company of little humans that sets my soul on fire.

On the weekend I took my little home girl down to the beach. She wanted to go down to the water by herself so I watched her from a distance. She ran, all the way down to the water and I watched her staring out at the waves, no fear and full of independence. After a little while she turned around and waved at me before coming full steam back up the sand. When she got to me, I asked her how she went. ‘I got a fright when I was down there, I thought the waves were going to get me.’ I looked at her and said ‘that’s okay darling, just remember how brave you were going in the first place.’ She smiled and said ‘I was brave, but would it be okay if this time you came a little bit closer with me?’ Then she grabbed my hand and we played at the waters edge together for a while, her completely immersed in the present, feeling secure and me completely overwhelmed with joy and pride that I got to be there in that moment.

I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. The words courage and bravery are very sensationalised, and for me personally when I think about the two, I tend to think about extraordinary circumstances like a firefighter running into a blaze or someone saving a life with disregard for their own in that moment, however I’ve never felt more connected to those words then when I think about them in my trip to the beach with my four year old friend.

What she’s so brilliantly reminded me of, is our tendency as adults to not ask for help or show people that we are not okay. I’m really not sure when as a society we deemed it ‘normal’ to suffer in silence or how we subconsciously default to pretending everything is shit hot when its not but here we are, doing it anyway and we’re all guilty at some point or another. 

Courage is defined as the ability to do something that frightens one; bravery and bravery is defined as courageous behaviour or character. Interestingly enough, but not surprisingly, the two are linked by definition. 

Of late, I’ve been going through a lot of change. By default, I don’t ask for help nor do I talk openly about it while I’m in the belly of it because I feel a sense of burden and even sometimes shame for the fact that at that point I’m not okay. With feelings like burden and shame come isolation, judgement, pressure and anger which could all be avoided by displaying the same courage and bravery that my little friend so beautifully, and willingly, shared with me on the weekend. Doing so also allows an opportunity for a deeper connection with those who care about us and we begin to remodel the stereotype that we have to have it together at all times at any cost.

Beautiful friends, let me leave you with this. You are never in it alone, and despite appearances, everyone goes through something at some point – I’m sitting right in the pit of it with you now. Let courage and bravery move through you, even in the discomfort and lets be a little more willing to show people the real us, not just the version we think they want to see.

With courage, 

Ps Interested in some 1 on 1 time with me? Check out my coaching packages

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How well do you know yourself?

Hey lovers,

As the title would indicate, it’s time to get cosy with you! Naturally, if someone asked me that question my response would be: obviously I know myself well, followed by a hard eye roll because sass HOWEVER go with me on this one.

If you’ve read either of the two blogs I’ve punched out in the past twelve months (I’m also laughing – If you haven’t, you can read them here and here) you would know my life has changed drastically and I’ve learnt a lot about myself. Good news though, you don’t have to undergo an immense amount of change to get to know yourself a little better, I’ve got you covered. 

Below is a list of the top 5 tools I’ve utilised to get that little bit better understanding of who I am, and why I do the things I do.

  1. MY STAR SIGN

I know some people think it’s a load of shit but when you were born says an incredible amount about you and it’s honesty one of the first things I ask about a person. It gives you insight into personality and nature, drive and ambition, likes and dislikes, passion, ethics, parenting style and compatibility just to name a few. Obviously no one website is going to reach into your soul 100% correctly but do your own research (literally google your star sign) and see what you find, I think you’ll be intrigued.  

  1. PERSONALITY TEST

This test takes a little bit of time but gives you an abundance of insight into your personality type. It dives into strengths and weaknesses, romantic relationships, friendships, parenthood, career paths, workplace habits and an overview of your type in general. 

https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

  1. HUMAN DESIGN TYPE

This one blew my mind! I’ve only recently learnt about this but I cannot express how much it has enabled me to understand patterns I have and accept them. Once you’ve got your type, do your research and soak it all in. 

https://www.jovianarchive.com/get_your_chart

  1. MY FAVOURITE COLOUR

I know this sounds lame but humour me and give it a go! I’ve done this test with a few of my friends and majority of them were spot on, mine definitely was!

https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/meaning-of-colors.html

  1. IDENTIFYING MY CORE GIFTS

I’ve spoken about this before but BUY THIS BOOK! Regardless of your relationship status, this book is relevant to everyone. It’s the equivalent of an online course, identifying your core gifts and how they impact everything you do. Any online book store will have it, however I’ve popped the link direct to the authors website below.

https://www.kenpagelcsw.com

Happy researching! I’d love to know how you go!

Big love,

Ps Interested in some 1 on 1 time with me? Check out my coaching packages

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Does comfort outweigh happiness?

So it’s been a minute again, seems I’m making a habit out of keeping you waiting. Truth is, I have no desire to write for the sake of writing, so hopefully you take comfort in knowing that when I show up here, it’s because somethings sitting on my soul enough to drive me to share.

Of late, something I’ve been putting to my clients, and sitting with personally, is:

‘Does comfort outweigh happiness?’ 

I’m sure we’ve all heard the line ‘great things never came from comfort zones’? Comfort zones are the best but, right? They feel safe and secure, familiar and controlled. What plays on my mind though is what are we sacrificing by staying there? 

Stuck in a job you hate because it’s stable and the money is good? Staying in your relationship because you’ve invested years and years into building that future and if you just keep trying maybe things will change and you’ll feel different? Living in the same town that you grew up in, repeating the same cycle as your family because leaving is just not something that is done? Continually suffocating your voice and pushing down your passion because quitting your job and starting your own business is too big of a risk? Maybe you continue investing in friendships that just no longer serve you?

Any of those sound familiar? How about:

What if people judge me? 

What if it doesn’t work out? 

What happens if I fail?

We’ve all been there. Fear speaks loudly and can consume everything without us even being conscious of the pattern. Here’s something to ponder: have you adopted your fears? How many borrowed stories and adopted fears are you allowing to run out that aren’t yours to carry? If you made the choice to let those go, would you still be sitting in the same fear?

When something is out of alignment in our lives, our body tells us. Your mind won’t quieten, or you’ll carry around a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. Maybe you feel stuck in a rut that you can’t get out of? Things will continue to not go right or we’ll feel like we can’t catch a break because we’re fighting the push to get out of that comfort zone and expand.

What happens when we sit in the fear and stay where it’s comfortable? We sacrifice living, fully. We sacrifice expanding into higher versions of ourselves. We sacrifice our creativity and the gifts sitting dormant waiting to be birthed into the world. We sacrifice change. And for what? Fear of failing? Fear of success? Comfort? When I really think about it, it just doesn’t make sense to me anymore.

In answering my own question, does comfort outweigh happiness?, it has to be no. Sacrifice for the sake of comfort isn’t something I can invest in. Happiness, living life fully, expansion and creation have to be the forefront because our society needs change. Our generation is being built around an age of social media and over consumption and we’re loosing our ability to connect, with each other and ourselves. As scary as it is, the vulnerability of stepping into the fear and out of my comfort zone has to be essential or I never change and I never grow. I’ll take shitting my pants at life over living one I hate any day.

So my friend, let me ask you the question now: ‘Does comfort outweigh happiness?’

Ps Interested in some 1 on 1 time with me? Check out my coaching packages

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It’s been a minute…

Its been a hot minute since the last time I popped in here. SO much has changed. I’ve been feeling the pull to re-connect but I needed to make sure I was ready,  like really ready to get real about the last 8 months. 

8 months ago my 6 year relationship ended. Even writing that brings up a host of emotions for me: its only been 8 months then 8 months is such a short period of time like don’t get too excited followed closely by its really been 8 months – *sighs relief* and feels gratitude and pride swelling on a cellular level. I know if it was me reading this I’d immediately want to know why we broke up and the answer to that is honestly, we grew apart. 

When I think back about the last 6 years, I realise how much people change and settle into who they really are in the early years of being an adult. When I turned 18 I was adamant I was the epitome of alignment and I knew exactly how the rest of my life would map out, (I swear I’m not the only one right..) but as I sit here getting closer to 25 and coming out the other side of my first real heartbreak, I realise just how much I was guided and influenced into those ideas and just how far I’ve come from that original life map.

Being forced into independence has been the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. I never wanted to be single, absolutely no interest whatsoever and I always used to joke, but was actually low-key serious, that all I ever wanted to be was a wife and a mother as quickly as possible. I based every decision in my life around reaching that goal and when it was ripped away from me, guess what happened.. my life was over. I can have a little giggle now about how dramatic I was but because of where I’d placed my anchor (in someone else), my whole world spun out of control and I had a very shit time ahead of me. Lets not lie and pretend we haven’t seen a billion times the old one liners like ‘home is wherever I’m with you’ or ‘sometimes home has a heartbeat’ paired the instagram photo of our cute boyfriend. Yeaaaaaaah well, this was actually me and we can all guess how well that worked out for me…

So, being an Aries, I’m naturally a super independent sassy firecracker with lots to say and even more to feel but when I was in a relationship I lost that. I got so caught up in ‘adulting’ and the way I thought my life needed to look that we became one instead of two (absolutely no-ones fault) and when I literally was just one, I was left feeling like I’d lost my identity and had zero clue who I even was anymore. Let me tell you sister, that’s a real rough time. What I had done without even realising was placed literally my whole life into the hands of someone else (lets take a minute to appreciate the weight of that on that someone else, soz dude) and made that person my anchor. Goodbye independence and cue all of the grand life questions – what am I even doing with my life? How did I even get here? What do I do now I’ve built my whole life and business around someone else? Am I going to be lonely forever?.. fuck no-ones ever going to love me again. NIGHTMARE

I’d created a one way ticket to clingy central with a side of 24/7 anxiety and an inability to spend any time by myself. I actually have anxiety thinking about it… Naturally my biggest fear as I entered a solo life was being alone and can I just say that now, with a lot of soul searching and forced time by myself, its genuinely pretty high up on my list of things I like to do. Miracle, I know. 

Here’s what the last 8 months solo, or what I like to call ‘new me who dis’ have taught me:

  1. Breakups are the shittest time and there is no such thing as ‘accelerated healing’. No shit, that’s literally a thing I said.. “like it sucks and my life is currently over but I’ll be okay because I’m super conscious of my emotions and because I’m a life coach I feel like I’ll have an accelerated healing”. Lets all laugh together. Feeling the weight and depth of my emotions was imperative for me. Not once did I ever enjoy it but it allowed me the space to remember how fortunate I am to have experienced love in a way that made me feel the way I was feeling in loss. Everyone is super quick to give you advice (bless) but what I realised is it’s more important to listen to the advice you have for yourself – hey soul – and less about comparing how you are feeling to how someone else in a similar situation did.
  1. You can’t put a timeframe on it. I always thought I would reach a point where I would just be over it, it wouldn’t hurt anymore and I’d just be me again. I was wrong. I looked so hard in the earlier stages for an article that would just lay it all out for me, almost like I was looking for a timeline of how I’d be feeling at what point and when I’d finally feel free of the weight of the past. Obviously I never found it because common sense would tell me that it’s different for everyone but I was clinging onto anything I could get because I was sitting in the fear of the rest of my life. When I sit and reflect back on the time that has past, what I realise is that everything came to me in perfect timing and I was always provided for. I was never ready for the next phase or the next feeling but when are we ever really ready for what comes next in life? Every time I thought I was good, growth and expansion came knocking on my door and I had to step into a version of myself I hadn’t met before. Challenging, emotional and super uncomfortable but unavoidable and a blessing. 
  1. Society teaches us how our lives should look. Man this really irks me. It’s ingrained in us from such a young age that to be successful you have to love, be loved and have the right things. Marriage, kids, house, cars, piece of paper that says you’re qualified and all as quickly as possible. It’s all based on what your life looks like and not how your life feels. Here’s a thought, what if you have all of the above and you actually hate your life? You’re in an unhappy marriage or you work a shitty 9-5 like a slave instead of tapping into your passion? What then? Eat, sleep, work, repeat until you die? None of those things matter if you aren’t happy. If the above is your jam then grab it with everything you’ve got, but if not what is? Where does your passion lie? Do you want to travel? Trade university for life skills? Get out into the world and immerse yourself in independence, opportunity and explore your own capabilities exclusive of what everyone else thinks you should be doing. Accepting that my life wasn’t going to be what I thought it would at this point and releasing the weight and pressure of what I’ve been taught I had to have at this age my whole life has been a mission and a half but I can choose differently every single day. My life is just that, mine and so is yours. Wherever you’re at is perfect as long as you’re happy. We’ve literally got nothing but time.
  1. Compromise and sacrifice are not the same thing. One of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn is that compromise and sacrifice are not the same thing. In my relationship I sacrificed. I downplayed and hid core parts of myself because they made other people uncomfortable. When I think about it now it saddens me how natural it was for me to do that and how out of alignment I became with myself. Being unattached has been a wake up call and I’m still being met with the depth of my soul on the daily now. Compromise on what you want for dinner, not the type of person you are or what you want in life.
  1. You have to make bad choices. I have made some questionable decisions in the last 8 months. I’ll probably look back on these in future and really shake my head at how loose and bulletproof I thought I was at that point. Do I regret it? Not for a second and I never will. Why? Testing the limits is essential for growth. I had to do things I’d never done before to see if they worked for me. For such a long time I was a Nanna trapped in a young body. I settled so quickly that I missed the part where you live carelessly, go out and have fun and not think about the consequences. I was a control freak about everything in my life and naturally I carried an immense amount of stress around with me because of it. Winging my life has been an experience that I needed. Sunday sesh’s, being a sloth crawling to pay day cause I’d spent all my money on alcohol and plane tickets and being down for whatever whenever has taught me an incredible amount about who I am and how important having fun is for me. 
  1. Vulnerability is necessary. Even though I’ve been riding the fun train, I felt like something was missing from my life, aside from a partner. I started reading a book called ‘Deeper Dating’ by Ken Page. I learnt pretty quickly that one of my core values is connection and without it I feel out of balance. But with connection comes vulnerability and it scares the shit out of me. Allowing myself to be vulnerable means opening my soul and being me unapologetically. It means letting people in and letting my guard down and sometimes that equals being hurt. In those moments though I open myself up to growth and expansion and I have to ask myself, isn’t it worth it? I’m reminded a lot lately that nothing beautiful in life comes from staying in your comfort zone. Sometimes you have to hold your own hand and step off the diving board. You’re ready. 

So, on that note, I’m stepping off the diving board and opening myself, my website and coaching packages back up to you, vulnerability hangover and all. 

Big love,

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2018 Update

So far 2018 has been like a big old cyclone through my comfortable little life. Four weeks in and I’m uncomfortable af.

I took some time off over Christmas and New Year, aiming to settle into my new business and really align in with my intention for this year. Last year was primarily study and soul searching, so naturally I thought (unconsciously as it so happens) I would do a bit more of the same but more intensively to wrap it all up. I journalled, I blogged, I released my website and e-book out into world,  I read some self-help books, I caught a cold – which in my mind acted like a final detox of the departing year – and then I went on my way expecting to ride the high right on into 2018. Who wants to guess how long that lasted?

It just so happens that I had been walking around with my head in the clouds and ignoring some loving warning signals from the universe that something was out of alignment. I kept finding myself in extremely out of the ordinary situations and so unsure why everything in my life was changing.

Relationship – CHALLENGING

Friendships –  CHALLENGING

Business – CHALLENGING

Life in General – CHALLENGING

I could feel that something wasn’t right but instead of addressing it, I did anything I could to distract myself from sitting with it and hide the fact that I was struggling. As you do unconsciously though, I kept on charging forward in denial that I needed to be still. ‘I’m really good thanks!’ became my go to. I threw myself into work, started going out every weekend and carried my closest friends and their struggles as if they were my own. I’m talking next level empathy. Until the day I had an anxiety attack at work. My first one in years. It all came bubbling up and I couldn’t distract myself from the relentless chatter in my head anymore. I had carried the burden of having to be ‘together’ all of the time that I didn’t know how to receive. I had sacrificed my boundaries and the weight of that unanchored me from the earth and sunk me deep into my unconscious mind and shadow self where I was constantly riddled with anxiety and obligation and I couldn’t see the path forward anymore.

I was forced to be still. Something I’ve come to learn is that you can only close your eyes for so long. Eventually you have to go inward and enter into the space that bothers you. Really get uncomfortable and sit in the face of that feeling so you can receive what is being provided to you. I had been a stage 5 clinger to the person I should be and the life that I should live (all concocted ever so perfectly in my head btw) and I was shitting my pants at life right now because I was heading towards change and away from comfort zone. I wanted MORE in every aspect and was no longer able to settle with what I had. I loved my life and was proud of my business but it wasn’t enough in that form anymore. I was craving expansion.

Once I had acknowledged that, the answer presented itself to me – Rebels of Light.  A transformational, 11-month journey – a collaborative mentoring program – with a very clear goal: to awaken the catalyst in you, so that individually, and united as a community, real and lasting change can be cultivated and witnessed. Calm came rushing back through my body and I knew it was right. Weight = lifted. I realised that wanting more didn’t make me ungrateful for all of the beautiful things that I had, nor did it make me greedy or selfish. It took real courage for me to admit to myself, FINALLY, that something wasn’t right but even more to be ready to do something about it and step out of the fear.

Why am I choosing to share this with you? Because this shit matters. Having the courage to say I’m not okay with this anymore and I want more is something to be celebrated. I refuse to be another leader who only shines a light on the highlights when it is the darkness that leads us into that space. I am going to be monumentally uncomfortable over the next 11 months because without that, there can be no transformation – I’m inviting you along on that journey with me. Know that I am here, listening to you and feeling you, committing to showing up unapologetically for you, in the same way I hope you do. Allow yourself to step away from fear and live from love, I promise you it’s not crowded here.

From my heart to yours,

PS Want to receive love letters just like these directly into your inbox PLUS get a free copy of my guide to ‘Living Your Best Life’? Click here and subscribe!

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Let’s talk New Year

You made it. Welcome to 2018!

For the last two years, I set myself the same New Years resolution – ‘Be happier and healthier’. It was about allowing myself the space to be a constant work in progress, always striving to be happier and healthier than the current version of myself. For the first year, it absolutely worked. I was in a hugely health transformative stage in my life and I could physically see and feel myself reaching the goal.

When 2017 rolled around I committed to the same resolution, but what I didn’t know at that point was that I was exiting that stage and moving into a whole new ball park – awakening and aligning with my souls purpose. The problem I had now was that in switching gears, my resolution had become difficult to measure. How would I know once I’d reached it, and what did that look and feel like for me? Especially given I couldn’t physically SEE the changes, I was on one hell of a spiritual journey. What I’ve come to realise is that I couldn’t measure it in the same way I had grown accustom to, I had to step towards my own unique way of reflecting, and then evaluating the year that was without a label attached to it. Once I cut ties with that bad boy, 2017 unveiled herself to me.

Here’s what she taught me:

YOU HAVE TO ALLOW YOURSELF TO ENTER INTO THAT SPACE

SOMETIMES INACTION IS THE BEST REACTION

HONESTY PROMOTES HONESTY

PEOPLE PLEASING DOESN’T PLEASE ANYONE

HOME IS A SACRED PLACE

TIME IS VALUABLE AND SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE INVESTED INTENTIONALLY

ASK, DON’T ASSUME

IT IS WITHIN MY HUMANNESS + UNIQUE SPIRIT THAT I COME HOME

I AM WORTHY, ALWAYS

 

This year, I’m ditching the resolution and heading in with a sole intention:

Unfold into the feminine 

 

From my heart to yours,

PS Want more? Pop over to my website and subscribe to my newsletter to get your hands on my guide to ‘Living Your Best Life’, you won’t regret it!

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I’ve got questions…

A few days ago I was scrolling Instagram and I stumbled across something that seems to be appearing on a regular basis these days and it made me quite emotional if I’m being honest. It was a cry for help without follow through. A message sent out to anyone who would read, that this person was not okay and needed deeply to be cared for, but when a hand was extended, it was just ask quickly declined. Now, don’t get me wrong I was stewing on the inside, but not for the reason you might think. My empathy was for what we enable, as a society. For the reactions we have accepted and the behaviours we continue to teach. I felt like we had failed, this particular person as well as ourselves.

When did we become a society that was so heavily focused on outward appearance and so deeply disinterested in the type of person we are at a soul level? When did it become the norm to associate your worth with the amount of followers you have on Instagram or the total likes on your latest photo? When was the last time you went into a social setting and everyone was fully engaged with those around them and not glued to their phones. It seems like we have a more vested interest in proving that we had a better time than anyone else through the photos we share then actually being present and enjoying the experience.

When did we as women hand over our worth to other people and allow them to influence the way we look and feel about ourselves? When did we start normalising the internal battle and allowing ourselves to feel that because we’re not the only one feeling these feels or dealing with this on the daily that it must be okay?

I genuinely cannot wrap my head around it. My heart is so deeply saddened when I consider the behaviours that we as a society are teaching and replicating for our generation of women, on and offline. We are moulding each other, enabling each other and carving the path for continuation of this toxic cycle and I am no longer okay with standing silent.

So how do we address it? We open our eyes and hearts to the beauty within. 

I want to share with you, three of the most important assets you have – self love, self confidence and self worth. Notice how they all start with self? That’s because YOU hold the power of them. Not your friends or your family, not your Instagram followers or old mate who keeps giving you the nod at the gym, YOU. You, beautiful friend are extraordinary inside and out and you do not have to feel like this anymore. Let yourself explore you without the baggage others have attached to you. Break away from who you should be and step into who you are because you, layers pulled back is something that should not be hidden. Be you, unapologetically and watch the light shine through. You were not put on this earth to live in fear, you’ve got something to bring to the party pretty lady – don’t keep us waiting!

Feel like you need little more? Then my guide to ‘Living Your Best Life’ is for you! Make sure you’re subscribed to my newsletter to grab your free copy!

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