How do you feel about courage?
This one is sitting hot on my heart lovers, so naturally I’m back at it again a billion years after my last blog.
One of my fav things to do is spend time with my littlest loves. Theres just something about immersing myself in the company of little humans that sets my soul on fire.
On the weekend I took my little home girl down to the beach. She wanted to go down to the water by herself so I watched her from a distance. She ran, all the way down to the water and I watched her staring out at the waves, no fear and full of independence. After a little while she turned around and waved at me before coming full steam back up the sand. When she got to me, I asked her how she went. ‘I got a fright when I was down there, I thought the waves were going to get me.’ I looked at her and said ‘that’s okay darling, just remember how brave you were going in the first place.’ She smiled and said ‘I was brave, but would it be okay if this time you came a little bit closer with me?’ Then she grabbed my hand and we played at the waters edge together for a while, her completely immersed in the present, feeling secure and me completely overwhelmed with joy and pride that I got to be there in that moment.
I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. The words courage and bravery are very sensationalised, and for me personally when I think about the two, I tend to think about extraordinary circumstances like a firefighter running into a blaze or someone saving a life with disregard for their own in that moment, however I’ve never felt more connected to those words then when I think about them in my trip to the beach with my four year old friend.
What she’s so brilliantly reminded me of, is our tendency as adults to not ask for help or show people that we are not okay. I’m really not sure when as a society we deemed it ‘normal’ to suffer in silence or how we subconsciously default to pretending everything is shit hot when its not but here we are, doing it anyway and we’re all guilty at some point or another.
Courage is defined as the ability to do something that frightens one; bravery and bravery is defined as courageous behaviour or character. Interestingly enough, but not surprisingly, the two are linked by definition.
Of late, I’ve been going through a lot of change. By default, I don’t ask for help nor do I talk openly about it while I’m in the belly of it because I feel a sense of burden and even sometimes shame for the fact that at that point I’m not okay. With feelings like burden and shame come isolation, judgement, pressure and anger which could all be avoided by displaying the same courage and bravery that my little friend so beautifully, and willingly, shared with me on the weekend. Doing so also allows an opportunity for a deeper connection with those who care about us and we begin to remodel the stereotype that we have to have it together at all times at any cost.
Beautiful friends, let me leave you with this. You are never in it alone, and despite appearances, everyone goes through something at some point – I’m sitting right in the pit of it with you now. Let courage and bravery move through you, even in the discomfort and lets be a little more willing to show people the real us, not just the version we think they want to see.
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