I’ve been keeping a secret..
Beautiful friends, welcome back!
I’ve been sitting deep in reverence the last couple of months because I have a little secret I’ve been keeping close to my heart, I’ve welcomed a new love into my life. It is the most beautiful and reflective process and evokes joy and happiness on a level I’m experiencing for the first time, but it is also challenging, triggering and requires a lot of work, solely because we have chosen to grow a conscious relationship.
If you google conscious relationship, nine out of ten times you find a definition that sits around two people coming together romantically with a sole purpose, that purpose being growth. While I don’t entirely disagree, conscious relationship dives deeper than that for me.
It’s about growth as a priority. Having individual aspirations and a desire to continually expand on a soul level. Conscious relationship requires an independence of you, me and us (you, your partner and your relationship itself) and demands that each seperate entity be fed and nurtured so that the ‘us’ can be deposited into, equally. You aren’t your relationship, you grow your relationship and you do that by depositing into it from your overflow.
It’s about responsibility. Of your actions, reactions, emotions and the way you show up. There is no playing the victim, or self pity, only ownership and a side of selflessness. The only person who can change your state and your emotions is you, and you do that through taking responsibility, and then communicating clearly to your partner what’s going on for you and what you need to return to feeling seen, heard and balanced.
It’s about conscious disagreement and knowing that it some days it will feel hard and take work. We are modelled a relationship prototype that is perfect at all times, heavy on the sacrifice with a core focus of ticking the socially acceptable boxes. Hard no. Conscious relationship is having a safe place to run toward the triggers, frustrations and problems that arise because we are committed to the growth and healing that comes from them. Realising that the ability to turn toward the negative emotions quickly creates more emotional intimacy and safety whilst allowing us the opportunity individually to move through our own stuff and really own it.
It’s about vulnerability and learning how to soften. Be in your feminine energy and let emotion flow through you. Vulnerability does not feel excellent but it is the gateway to your soul for your partner.
It’s about your partner not being your everything. Inter-dependency as opposed to co-dependency. If your body immediately tensed, soften my love. You are fiercely capable and as women, independence runs through our veins. There is an extreme weight to be carried when you are another human beings everything. Co-dependent relationships collapse with someone giving up who they are and merging into the other person in order to keep the relationship going, leaving feelings of heaviness, exhaustion and suffocation that do not serve anyone. In an inter-dependent relationship, each individual recognises and values the importance of the emotional connection they share, whilst continually maintaining a connection with themselves, never compromising or diminishing their own value systems. It’s realising that your partner can’t be your everything, nor do you want them to be. Maintain your friendships, keep doing things for you and get nice and cosy with your soul as a priority, your relationship will thank you later.
Lastly, it’s about communication and love, at the core. The grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it and there aren’t self watering pots for this one.
All my love,
Ps Interested in some 1 on 1 time with me? Check out my coaching packages